The Bulungula Lodge is a secluded place in the Transkei where tourists come to rural villages to get the "real South African" experience. I went to present to communites from the villages.
The lodge was mistaken for a river, a mountain, a shop and other places that are also called Bulungua. Melikhaya, the official translator, went into rondovals (round, humble village houses with stick roofs) asking locals for directions. We got lost in the middle of dark fields.
When Melikhaya and I were seen with "white people," they said we were looking for "David's" place, the only white person in the village. And the owner of the Bulungula Lodge. After that, every person we asked pointed us in the right direction toward "David's mansion by the sea."
When I heard "mansion," I got excited. A big, brick house with an electric fence and bodyguard, I thought. But when we arrived there was nothing but more rondovals. But these had colorful paintings on the walls with candles and tourist decorations. As we got off the bus onto the muddy grass, foreigners said, "oh my god, this is beautiful, it is like a real safari."
The dining room was also a large rondoval. The beer, the food, the music, the low light was exactly like places in Khayelitishia, my township. The difference here was that these were all white people sitting on the floor with no shoes on. In Khayelitishia we sit on chairs, wear shoes and there are no white people. I thought, my god these people are imitating the township life! I want to learn how to be rich and these rich people are pretending to be poor.
There was no mansion, only colorful rondovals with no electricity. Not my style. But I was happy because Joe and Melikhaya were happy, so I relaxed drank some wine and went with the flow.
The Day at Bulungula Lodge
In the morning I woke up and found a goat staring at me. I almost left running back to Cape Town right there. I thought a shower would fix things but got lost trying to find the toilet and only found a shower head next to a tree. Here is a picture. Come all the way to a tourist vacation lodge to have to boil hot water! And people pay for this?? I should invite them to Khayelitshia where we do this everyday.
The best part were the beaches. Melikhaya and I were walking with him taking pictures like if I was a model in a photo shoot. Melikhaya even got excited about riding a horse. The city boy ran in on a grey horse like a country boy. I did it too but the fun only lasted 10 minutes and then I thought why does this horse have to carry me in the hot sun. I felt bad. He might throw me off out of anger. I got off the horse and took a nap in the sun.
Waiting for Melikhaya two large groups of children ran toward me, kind of staring at me. I felt nervous, scared and uncomfortable. I saw that they were holding postcards from the tour. Out of no where I felt like crying. This had never happened to me but I did not want to do the presentation.
It was like I was the city girl coming to the country and they knew that I was the one who had HIV / AIDS and had came to entertain them. The ignorance of the village kids mixed with white tourists acting like poor South Africans made me feel like a clown. Melikhaya had to present for me. They told me he did great!
Melikhaya said that the children thought he was joking about being HIV positive. They know it exists, but can't imagine that healthy looking people can have it. All of this reminded me how important it is to have access to information and education.
So......a goat, bare feet, no mansion, no electricity, and no cell. phone connection.... goodbye Bulungula, I could not wait to get back to the city!!
We rented a very cool ride for the trip down the Eastern Cape from
Durban. In total we had eight pieces of luggage to squeeze. I needed many pairs
of shoes for the road and we even brought our own printer and projector
for events
Right off one of Mthatha's big roads, a dirt path appeared leading us to some shacks. It was nice to see shacks because in Jo'burg and Durban we saw none. These shacks were not like the ones in Khayeltishia though. They were very rural, old, poor and rusted. It made my township and my shack seem like a luxury hotel.
Children with musical instruments appeared on the road and they were
Usually I do the presentation with Joe, the producer. But we were in a
I was not
an outcast here and the questions I was asked showed that. They were
simple, about
daily things -- from
one HIV positive person to another. It made me
feel human and real, not just like a good "story." I also saw my
privilege because of access to ARV's, good doctors and nice shacks.
HIV in the Itipini Community is taken as a way of life. It does not bring people down. It is not a sad place. It is a funplace that is about choosing life, not death.
One woman asked how I maintain my figure because ARV's made her shapeless. Others said that they were going to get an HIV tests and have
Some never thought they could have kids. We talked about Onwabo, my daugher and my experience with AZT and Nevarapine. They looked at me with bright eyes as if I were a doctor. Except that they could relate to me because I knew what it was like to have HIV.
The people were admiring and praising me, singing
and dancing for me and it felt like one big celebration. They
were fighting over the
postcards of the project and wanted to know every detail about my
life. They thought I had a lot of power. They told me to talk to
the president about getting them jobs and grants. I had never imagined
my story could make such a direct impact. That day I knew that people
left my presentation with a new attitude toward their life. I felt new
again. Like my presence had a message and just talking about this has
the power to change lives.
My mother is originally from a township in Durban called Mlazi. So I had already visited but where I had stayed there was no electricity or running water. This time we were in the city's center where all the offices, shops, malls and action is.
Sparks High School and Overport Secondary School
We woke at 3.45 AM for our morning flight from Jo'burg. We were tiiired! In one blink I was suddenly at the US Consulate and the Consul General was bombarding me with questions. He was a nice man and complemented me on my courage. It still surprises me why everyone thinks this is so courageous when I feel I am just being me.
The afternoon was taken over by 13 to 18 year olds. These events have become the ones that I enjoy the most because I think that I can get kids to listen. When I walk in all stylish and proud, they could never imagine that I am HIV positive.
The first school was a colored school.
Colored in South Africa is a common term used to
describe a person that is not black and not white, but mixed.
The second school (Overport Secondary School) was originally an Indian school. I did not know this but Durban has the biggest community of South Africans of Indian background. The school was part Indian South Africans, coloreds and blacks. I loved that it was so mixed.
The principal was sooo excited about the story that he invited the entire school to line up in the hot sun and hear me speak. There were hundreds! Then the older ones were chosen to go to a classroom and have a more personal presentation.
Most of the kids in these schools live in shacks and market flats around Durban.Girls are the most at risk. It is stylish to go with older guys, even if the guys might be infected. The older guys see the girls as fresh HIV-free meat. I can
How do you tell teenagers that they shouldn't care what people think,
when it is their biggest fear? How can you show them that you grow immune to
criticism
and it becomes a relief to lose those friends? When you are true to
yourself and your reality, you will only gain better people and friends
along the way. I hope they felt that after listening to me.
Gagassi 99. 5 Living Positively
That same day I was offered a job in Durban. It turns out that very few young, hip and beautiful people are willing to speak openly about what it is like to live positively. I was offered to host a radio show called Living Positively on Gagasi Radio (99.5) if I move to Durban. I can't
US Consulate Library: Talking to NGO's
The Consulate Library organized a gathering for me where I spoke to 60 non-profit organizations and religous leaders dealing with the issue. I was expecting mostly white people but was inspired by how mixed the audience was. It felt so real to be in front of those people that are fighting HIV daily and it made something happen inside of me. I told stories I had never mentioned in presentations before. Like the day that Melikhaya showed up at my house with HIV/AIDS pamphlets to say he was sorry and that he understood. I gave them details about ARVs and described what a miracle they had been for me and how important disclosure is. They all stared back at me with pride. As if I was a tiny story of hope in their everyday fight against the disease. Also, I felt I had to impress them and I could not just say anything that popped into my head because these are people that really know. One woman said she wished that her daughter understood her status and that it can happen to anyone. She almost pleaded me to keep on speaking up trying to reach young people.
SABC 2's Morning Live
I did not sleep much because at 6am all of South Africa would see me on Morning Live, one of the biggest daily news program on TV. My entire family in Khayelitshia woke up to watch. I was trembling with nerves, not able to eat the biscuits or drink the tea they offered at SABC. I was sure the make-up session would calm me and make me beautiful. Then I looked in the mirror and saw a mummy staring back at me. I was going to look ugly in front of the whole country! I wanted to run away.
I stayed, mummy face and all, and the host that I have watched on TV for many years was suddenly interviewing me! He asked about the project, about disclosing, about ARV's - the same questions but very very rushed. By now I have learned that television happens quickly.
When I was done, one of the news hosts of SABC came over. She told me about a friend that was in denial and wanted information about anti-retroviral drugs (ARV's). Actually she could not even pronounce ARVs.This surprised me because I thought I would be asking these big people questions, not the other way around.
SABC Journtalists and Producers
This talk was to producers and journalists of SABC radio. To be honest, I didn't feel that they would take my presentation seriously because they deal with news about AIDS everyday.
Talking about the making of Thembi's AIDS Diary is different from other presentations. It is a more personal conversation about finding the strength to record the story. I was asked how I dealt with people's negative attitudes toward those of us living with the disease? I answered that negative talk gives me strength because it comes from ignorance. I said speaking out heals me because I am fighting this stigma and ignorance.
Some of these professional people began to cry. When I walked into that
room, I felt smaller than them. But,
having these educated and "big" people ask me questions made me
see that I am also as big as they are. Two of these women even told me
that after hearing me that they were going to get HIV tests.
Constitution Hill
Constitution Hill is a symbolic place to South Africans. It is the site of Johannesburg's notorious Old Fort Prison, where thousands of innocent people were locked up and tortured during apartheid. Now, it is the home of the highest court in the land. As a South African woman it was a great honor to speak here.
The first presentation was to AIDS orphans who were
bussed from Hillbrow. HIV positive adults from Gugulethu, a township in Cape Town
where my father is from, also came. Speaking to young people
orphaned by
AIDS gave me energy because they know better than anyone about stigma
and discrimination. I tried to tell them that there are also positive
sides to this. I hope that my words gave them hope.
The evening event was done outside under a beautiful tent. Justice Albie Sachs was funny and very moving as a host of the event. Standing again in front of so many people to talk about the diary, I saw that my story is not old news. It is more relevant than ever.
At one point an HIV positive ANC leader who had been exiled during apartheid said that living with the disease was a greater challenge than exile and apartheid. I did not know how to respond.
Melikhaya also got a moment in the limelight. People asked him what it was like to be with the woman that infected him. He said that it was an honor. This made the women go crazy. And, as we were driving away from the event a group of girls yelled, "Byeeee Melikhyaaaa." And oof, this made me jealous. But it made me happy that I have such a cute boyfriend.
I always imagined that Johannesburg would have celebrities crowding the streets. But mostly people drive around in cars. Even if I didn't see any, I have felt like a celebrity in Jo'burg. Today I walked around SABC, tried Indian food for the first time in Melville and went by Hillbrow. It was all great, but my favorite part was the presentations to teenagers in Soweto. They need to hear from a young and hip person and realize that what they think they know about HIV/AIDS is not enough.There is
Jabulani Technical High School Soweto
Soweto is one of the oldest black townships in South Africa and a place where the biggest anti-apartheid student movement took place. It is exactly what I thought it would be - brown and interesting. The first time I saw Soweto was in Sarafina, a movie about apartheid. In my generation most of the Kwaito artists like Zola and Brown Dash film their videos and sing about Soweto.
I spoke at Jabulani Technical High School to 15 and 16 year olds. Schools in this township are portrayed as a place of crime with naughty children. They were the opposite. Although they were well behaved most of them were not attentive when I began to speak.
Presenting to students in the US is different because my story is
something new to them. In South Africa, kids hear about this
everyday, so they are like, "Yeah we have heard that
before so let's get it done and over with." I used to be
the same way. The subject of HIV / AIDS felt boring
and annoying and
it is not unique, In South Africa it is the everyday news.
All I could think about was my
daughter Onwabo sitting on one of those chairs. About myself and if I
would have listened. This gave me strength, you see. By the end, the
kids were so engaged they asked questions beyond the recess bell.
SAFM Afternoon Live with Thabiso Sikwane
It filled me with pride to be in front of a mic in a studio for a South African audience. The interviewer was great although some of the callers were strange and were saying crazy stuff. Yet, speaking live on the radio made me feel that I was amongst those affected, reaching into their hearts and minds.
I was talking about living with AIDS
to people that are also living with the disease or have loved
ones trying to get through the day with it. People must see that
denial only deepens the power of AIDS. This disease is not going
anywhere until we face it. HIV/ AIDS is a challenge, not a
death sentence and today I realized, If it isn't me, who is it
going to be?
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